random musings

Actually, not so random, it's a bout Christianity. DH and I went to church last night. DS has been going to church for a couple of years now, and plays his clarinet in the church music group. His social life revolves around the church, variuos youth groups, and there is a small 'gang' who meet up at each other's houses for DVD evenings. Anyway, last night the Bishop was talking becasue one of the parish vicars was celebrating 40 years in the job. DS wanted us to go as it was a special service. Well, it was a lot longer than I thought. I had anticipated about 45 mins, but it was 1.1/2 hours!! The church is lovely, old stone, a bit victorian I suppose. I think the vicar is very nice too, and the Bishop is bonkers, and very entertaining. But Christianity? I can't get there. I cannot accept God into my life, or believe that Jesus gave up his life to save our sins. I find the enthusiasm of the congregation a bit daunting, I mean when they are singing they raise their arms to let God in, and dance and generally enjoy themselves!! I felt like a real outsider. DH and I watched 'Walk the Line' the film about Johnny Cash recently. Thre is a scene where his first wife is at a concert sitting po faced while all around her are clapping and singing. I felt like her! In a way, I wish I could let God in, because the people at that church all seem so happy, and are having a great time.

Other random thoughts about it:

The Bishop spent 30 minutes (at least) talking to us about one tiny paragraph in the bible. What a HUGE amount the bible can teach us!

It must be very hard to be married to a vicar. He has been handpicked by God, and his first love and responsibility is to God, not his family.

I am too shy to sing because I am soooo out of tune. I can hear everyone around me , and don't want them to hear me!



Other thoughts. Dad has only got to have one zap of radiotherapy so am taking him to Brighton this afternoon. I am hoping he doesn't feel ill! He didn't feel too good on friday while we were there, but once he had been seen, and had the good news of only one zap, he perked up quite a bit. He's had a very hard time on this load of Chemotherapy. He has felt quite poorly at times, and is finding it very hard to walk now. I just hope that when he goes to his consultant next week, they don't decide he needs some more!!!

I walked Merlin up at Highdonw this morning, and saw Carly and her 2 springers. I hardly ever see anyone I know up there these days, so it was nice to have a chat. And i found out the t the man I always used to meet with Barney is called Chris!